I woke up at 3:45 to a screaming "I want my Mommy...I want my Mom!!" At first I thought it was a hurt child and jumped out of bed, but then it sounded like a child having a temper tantrum on a poor dad, "Oh, that poor dad, I hope no one calls the police.."
A male voice, "Get in and I'll take you to your Mom!" Oh, great. Just a bunch of drunk teenagers, obviously she's had too much to drink and he's trying to get her home...Second male voice, "shut up, b****!"
I called 911, of course, and explained it may be some drunk teenagers trying to get home, but they need to come help this girl... I throw some shoes and a sweater on and go tramping outside in my pj's to find where is this totally distraught female voice...
It's my neighbors! "Apparently", she's had too much to drink and he and his friend were trying to get her inside. I asked if she was okay and told the husband I had called the MP's (military police as we live on base). He apologized and said she finally passed out. Wait, what was the whole "I want my Mommy!" bit? A little odd for a grown, well 20-yr old, woman...20!
When the MP's showed up, I explained but asked them to check on her anyway. Finally, I get to go to bed!
There's a knock on the door and MP #2 needs some information from me, because I’m the caller who reported the incident. (Let me just say thank goodness he didn't ring the doorbell! Our house is handicap equipped which means every room has a blue flashing signal light and a LOUD buzzer that indicates the doorbell… both Ron and Ella have been blissfully asleep this whole time.)
In filing out the "required" paperwork, he asks for my military ID, place of birth, age, yada yada yada, "any distinguishing tattoos, M'am?" What??? "Is this in case I get lost?" I ask him. He just shrugs and says it's on the form. He has my ID which has all Ron's information too, but he asks me Ron's birthday, branch of service, middle name.
Seriously, is this a quiz? I ask him if I'm going to be tested on it later. He laughed and apologized but he's just doing his job. Alright...back to the questions...
“Husband's hair color, eye color, ethnicity?” "African-American."
"His complexion, M'am?"
"Uh, what?" says the girl who's only ever had to check off "white" on a form. I want complexion options! “Usually pasty, but fabulously tanned from Erin’s visit recently.” Can I check off that box? Back to the paperwork…
He lists off some options, ah, now it's a multiple choice test! "Would you like to make a statement, M'am?"
"Yes, isn't the drinking age 21?" :)
Anyway, I finally got to go back to bed. Thank goodness, it’s Saturday and Ron has gotten up with Ella, I’m going back to bed. The MP's here are really nice and super friendly...but really, all those questions????